xhear_me_nowx

oh yeah

Sun, 24 Dec 2006 05:32:21 GMT

friends only dipshit.

diet coke and lemonade

Fri, 22 Dec 2006 21:20:53 GMT

everythings going in circles at a million miles an hour.

this takes time.

gotta try everything at least once right?

There goes the neighborhood

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 23:16:20 GMT

i am ready.

just in case you read this jess.
i really am sorry about that joke

really, i know how bad that must have made you feel
and i'm so sorry for that.

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 06:35:49 GMT

Happy Fucking Birthday BEST FRIENDDD!

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 04:38:41 GMT

lynn is probably one of my favorite people right now..

that was a fantastic spilling-of-the-facts.

thank youuuuu so much.

by the way, heres my sketch. boo ya.

don't even read this. it's just me venting. && it's not about you.

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 05:16:55 GMT

your arrogence and lack of respect for yourself and everyone around you makes basically everything you say irrelavent to any subject matter, and for that fact, anything involving words at all. your lazy tounge lets the words slip out through your teeth and past your lips, without first going through a vital checkpoint, that being your brain. your gramatical misuses of semi-intelligent words makes you seem intellectual to the naked eye. unfortunatly for yourself, there are actually people out there that do have an education, that strive for knowledge of useful, skill building information and awarness of the world surrounding them, these are the people that do or evienvitably will, see through your everlasting phisade of repatant stories, and opinions based on nothing more than general audiance veiws, one sided, half assed research, and the stereotypical misunderstandings that are your life. You are the constant weight on everyones backs. You have not only made yourself once and again a charity case, but you actually enjoy the comfort that it brings to know you can constantly take and take without giving anything in return. You have given nothing to me but snide remarks and over critisicm about my life and the way i live. don't coinsern yourself with me. you ARE the past. not just part of it. you spend endless hours thinking up ways that you could possibly get me to understand how badly i hurt you, not realizing that in fact, you are the one who sought and brought upon the downfall of yourself. your immaturity level increases with every word from your mouth. talking to you not only frustrates me beyond recognizable expression, but i honestly in all effects of the phrase, believe my I.Q. goes down a point or two every time i actually put forth an effort to your nonsense psycho, liberal democratic bullshit. you hold yourself at levels uncomparable to most, in beliefs that prehaps you are in fact, musically, politically, and artistically one of a kind. for this you have gotten yourself no where. your lack of creativity, and knack for taking others ideas and 'rewriting' them into your own has been the prelude to your constant self praise, overzealous attitude, and gargantuan ego, all of which i'm sure will also eventually lead to your social and emotional demise.. you don't seem to realize that you do in fact look like a fool, get over yourself hunny, for your own sake.

that was long and pointless. i am just very angry right now.

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 01:42:56 GMT

one day you're gonna wake up and i'm not gonna be here anymore, i won't always be sitting on the sidelines waiting for my time in the spotlight.

i'm not wearing down
but he's tempting

i'm not wearing down
but he's so tempting..

i like it when it's new. haha.

today i found myself missing kevin.
not like 'i wish i had him back' missing him...but i had gotten so used to just calling him when something big happened, and knowing he'd always answer.
plus i put on damien rice. and it just reminds me of this time we fell asleep listening to it. the GOOD days when things didn't seem so complicated. i miss my friend.

this picture dosen't mean anything. but look how cute we were. haha i repeat : DO NOT get the wrong idea.

britter is on her way over. i'm doing her hair. scout pissed in my bed. im angry.

rest in peace.

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 01:03:26 GMT

today was horrible.

i pulled up seeing my moms car in the driveway. my heart sank. mind you, my mom is NEVER home before 6.
they're both standing in the driveway
i get out and the first words out of my mouth is "what happened?"
and my dad was like come here i have some bad news, grabs my shoulders and tells me that my cat died.

MY cat, mind you. this animal was literally mine. i did EVERYTHING for that cat for the past 4 years we had him. i absolutly loved this cat he even slept in my bed. i talked to him like a real person. he was my baby.

he was only 4 years old.

i guess the vet said he had a heart attack, my dad said he twitched his leg, laid down, meowed and just died.
cody called me and took my mind off stuff. thank God for friends like him. we talked forever about death and it made me feel so damn better.

the worst part was how sad my mom was, she was bawling. not even so much because the cat died, but both her and my dad felt so bad for me. they knew how much i loved that cat.
my dad dug the hole but i buried him myself. my parents have this granite block that they're going to let me do a painting on in the spring.

now the spot he used to sleep on my bed, the spot that kept my feet warm for all these years has nothing there. nothing but cat fur. i want to wash my blanket because it's depressing me, but i don't at the same time.

i'll be ok i swear.
just not today.

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 22:34:31 GMT

guess what

i still do give a fuck
i say i don't
and i'm a liar. i do

but it's all about to change.

i want to get raging drunk this weekend. the kind of drunk where i make out with everyone and wake up not remembering anything..only to look down and see that i changed my clothes, and the ones i'm wearing AREN'T mine.
i'm GOING to find a party.

i just put a chicken pot pie in the toaster over
and when i got it and realized the middle was still rock cold
i realized the instructions said in big bold letters do not prepare in toaster over.

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 14:31:13 GMT

I Did It,
Do you Think I've Gone Too Far?
I Did It,
Guilty As Charged.. :]]

ahh...eggs..

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 03:05:14 GMT

there really is that one person that always keeps coming back.
that one person that, no matter what happens, you just can't shake.

the L word.

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 02:53:53 GMT

i may be stupid for doing what i'm doing..but..then again..

for the first time in a really long time i can say with my whole heart that i'm happy. thats all that matters right now, that, and getting my applications all ACCEPTED. shit son. ahha

i talked the whole apartment thing over with my parents. they don't really think i'm going to be able to support my self and all that shit. but i know i will be able to, my grandpa called me yesterday and said if i needed any help with anything to let him know, and i know my dad will help me out, and i doubt i'll even need the help to begin with, because i'm going up there in may to get a job. my dad said i could work with them. he said it's pretty decent money.

and theres a slight chance the appartments i will be living in are the apartments my dad and grandparents OWN. so shit, i'll be getting breaks cut for me here and there.

i've been daydreaming about it like all day everday..
meeee, my best friend, who happens to be my sister, and my cat, and my own place.
i can't wait.

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 00:30:02 GMT

Feliz Cumplianos A Ti, Feliz Cumplianos A Ti, Feliz Cumplianos A Lynn, Feliz Cumplianos A Ti! Y MUCHO MAS!

happybirthdaylynnnnnn <3

picture this.

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 03:54:07 GMT

mi y mi padre y hermana.
i look just like him. aww.

los abuelitos..

theres a million more, but i just thought those were cute.

my dad emailed me. i'm really excited about life.

haha.

last night kevin called to piss me off. that was gay. whatever.

And Here's Your Closure.

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 01:13:38 GMT

this weekend was amazing.

i am in love with grandvalley.

i met my father. he cried. i tried my best to hold it back. i found out more to the story. i don't really know what to make of it, but he promised me someday soon we'd sit and talk, just the two of us and i would get nothing but the truth. he is a decent, caring man. he calls me "allys". (like elise, not allies) ahha. the cutest thing ever was that he came up to me this morning and handed me this red button up shirt and said "i dont know if you do this, but ashley (my older halfsister) wears my old shirts to bed and stuff..this one is my favortie shit and i want you to have it." it was adorable. i got it home and put it on and in the pocket was a little note that said "allys -- i love you . -dad G. " how cuuute.
i don't really feel like going into detail about everything, the talks, the "kodak moments" but i will say that i'm really glad i decided to meet him. i also got to meet some of my cousins, aunts, uncles, and my grandparents. they are all amazing. i feel so MEXICAN.
i feel like i got a lot of closure, but at the same time, it's just a very complicated situation, and i'm not really sure what i can do to mediate between the two sides of my family and not look like i'm trying to pick sides. hopefully they can both understand, and if not, i can't say that i care at this point. this is my life, THEY have made the desicions for who has been in and out of my life since now, but i'm in the drivers seat and no one is going to fuck with big al. NOOOOOO ONE

by the way, mi abuelitos are crazy funny. they gave me 40 dollars as a gift, make me a mexican FEAST and sent mi abuelos homemade salsa and chips home with me . it's delicious. haha.

my life is officially changed. muahhaa........hopefully things will only look up.

i hope everyone else had a good weekend.

9-11

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 03:24:11 GMT

i've been doing horrendous amounts of politial research lately.
i've been watching every news show, cnn, etc.
i've watched movie upon movie

i've come to the probably controversial, but certain conclusion that i agree with the war.
terrorism is such a horrible threat.
holy crap, theres so much shit we've dodged as civilians and most of us don't even know about it.
i think we need to get this war done and over with
help the middle east get their government up, one that is not ruled by people who have said "we desire death more than we desire life". one who is not willing to maliciously kill and torture it's own citezins, and also take terrorist actions upon other countries for their way of living. there IS NO alternative for peace. these people do not care about what we have to offer. they want us dead, each and every single last one of us. and that is all there is to it.

these people are discusting, and we need to stop them in oreder for not only the united states to continue on, but also the world.

do not misinterprate what i am saying : i do not agree with war in general, and up until now, have not agreed with this war.

i'm informed, and that is why i think for the safety of our country, and our lives, we need this war.

fuck the talaban yo'

welcome to the land of blue light

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 01:39:04 GMT

seriously dingleberrys.
haha.
i'm done wiht boys

just kidding, today i saw the most gorgeous guy, nad he looked me in the eyes and i swear my stomach dropped. he's beautiful. and i'm going to talk to him very very soon. like tomorrow soon.

tonight i hung wiht meaghann. shes cutie pants and a half.

i think i get to see my sister this weekend, my parents might not let me stay the night..since she'll be in pontiac..but i'll find my way around it . i always do.
okbye.

i is a seeneeor stoodent keid.

Thu, 07 Sep 2006 02:23:05 GMT

iiiiiiii think everything is coming together quite well. i'm not going to adress any downfalls right now, i think a lot of people suck. but everyone knows who my arch enemy is and the only thing i will say is this:
allyssia g with a fucking vengance. BITCH.

i love my best friend jessica. honestly i do. every day i spend with that girl is woop de woo fun. she makes me gafaul wiht laughter.

i feel weird being a t.a...honestly like a slacker, because today for instance, i felt like i was in class, so when i got done doing the stuff mr. beebe asked meto do, there was still like 45 min in class...so i like payed attencion to the lesson, then i realized .. i already took this class...so i got to sleep off my cramps, and i couldnt get in trouble for it. i dunno it was weird.

i hope 34 million girls wear leggings to school everyday for the rest of the year. MORE LEGGINGS PLEASE.

i hate school.

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 01:26:49 GMT

t.a. first hour isn't bad, cuz it's beebe. c'mon.

but second hour goverment i have like all the airhead bitches from my grade in it. they sit and giggle all hour and i want to stab them with my pencil

third hour is art. i sit alone. i like it that way. i hate when i'm trying to draw and people distract me.

i love sales and marketing

i'm grasping reality. goodbyeeeeeee.

we shed our summer skin.

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 19:07:27 GMT

its the last "summer night" tongiht
i dont know whats going on tonight, but i'd better spend this wiht my friends.

i just wanted to post an entry to let everone know that i chopped leons fro last night. he made me do it. thre was no changing his mind

he looks hot though..

really hot.

weaving webs, breaking heads.

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 02:00:49 GMT

i don't keep up with liars anymore.

hi my name is allyssia, and i pms.

Thu, 31 Aug 2006 22:32:11 GMT

GRRR I hate everything today
haha just kidding
but i'm on edge
but i went shopping
and i got some cute stuff.
i'm going back tomorrow.
blah blee blue blah.

boy, he makes me feel like a royal peice of shit
i wish i could just get through to him.

BUT OH WELL the new baby should be born anyday now-- i'm excited. :D

ANDDDDD i'm going in TWO weeks to visit my sister ashley
and i guess my father, david. haha
weird.

ok cupcakes, love love love byee

suck my kiss.

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 20:12:07 GMT

sooo kevin wrote songs about me
sent me the lyrics.
ah.
wow.
then today he asked me if i liked them
lmao
i was like as songs they're good
but thats like writing something about someone on a bathroom wall and asking them if it was a good diss.
haha
they are catchy though.

either way --

today i think i'm going to jessica glismans, we're getting drunk and i'm gonna cut her little sisters hair. she has fabulous hair thanks to me. haha.

i talked to my sissy ashley today
and we are seriously talking about next year getting an apartment together. her parents own an apartment complex and she said they would maybe give us one for free and just make us pay utilities since we're family. that'd be so sweet.
i'd be going to GRCC. or GVSU. not sure. prolyl CC.
and it looks like my dad is going to make an effort to get to know me...weird..but exciting at the same time.

i've learned not to get my hopes up about it, so i'm not. but it'll be a suprise for sure if he actually makes an attempt to be somewhat of a father to me.

i love my life,
i love my friends
and i'm pretty sure that i'm going to have an amaazzing day.
(the thought of moving away from ic actually is the part that is making me so happy right now)

i hoep you all have a fucking great day. <3333

if your feeling down.. laugh at this.

HEY UNGRATEFUL

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 15:44:36 GMT

i am sorry
but all of your livejournals besdies like two of them have been nothing but sob stories lately
it's really starting to piss me off
stop feeling sorry for yourselves
maybe i'm just pmsing or something
but life is not that bad you guys
we're still young
and it especially annoys me that i read some shit you write one week
and then when something you wrote you wish happened happens
you bitch about it.
so if everyone will do me a favor and write about something POSITIVE for their next update, i think it will make everyone feel a lot better, including yourselves.
apparently you aren't looking at the positive enough.
everyone needs to fucking smile
i'll give you a hug if you need one, just stop with the pity party PLEASE. it's so damn depressing. it's the last week of summer can't we all just have a fuckin party and get down with our bad selves?

anyway,
i think i'm going up to visit my sisters next weekend
either GVSU for ashley
or CMU for angelica, i'm not sure yet.
i found cmu boy on facebook. woop. haha
i don't feel bad
no sir no sir.
last night i got a million bagillion drunk dials, hahah i loved it.

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 19:10:43 GMT

i figured it out.
don't worry, i figured it out.

p.s. last night i got in a fight with this one relaly trashed kid cuz he told people he had sex wtih me friday night.. WHILE i was asleep midn you
even though my best friend was sleeping right next to me
and barely slept the whole night and didn't notice.

hmmmmmm